Our society conditions us to to be in need of future that never comes (Alan Watts)
Alan Watts: Audio on this subject
We have a whole system of preparation of the child for life. Which always is preparation and never actually gets there. In other words we have a system of schooling which starts with grades and we get this little creature into the thing with a kind of come on kitty kitty kitty. And we get it always preparing for something that's going to happen [but never does]. - Alan-Watts
Come along about the 45 years of age maybe you are a vice president and you suddenly Dawns on you that you've arrived with a certain sense of having been cheated because life feels the same as it always felt and you are conditioned to be in desperate need of a future. - Alan-Watts
The final goal that this culture prepares for us is called retirement when you will be a senior citizen and you will have the wealth and the Leisure to do what you always wanted but you will at the same time have impotence and uh false teeth and no energy so the whole thing from beginning to end is a hoax - Alan-Watts
Recondition Yourself
A rock thrown in the air. It loses nothing by coming down, gained nothing by going up. - Marcus-Aurelius
On the path to contentment: Cherish the present, the very essence of 'now', just as it is. This is not a pursuit of change or enhancement, but an invitation to immerse yourself in the current moment. Find joy in simplicity and peace in the unaltered state of being. Life's true richness is hidden in these unassuming moments. Learn to appreciate life's journey for its own sake.
This is easier said than done: Past-future, future-future-past, past, future, future. That's the typical mind pattern of today's man. However, only by learning how to live in the present can we truly enjoy life. As the present is all there really is.
To Stop Living in the future
To Stop Living in the future
To stop living in the future first we need to realize that we have grown up in society that has conditioned us to live in the future that never comes.
Alan Watts: Audio on this subject
We have a whole system of preparation of the child for life. Which always is preparation and never actually gets there. In other words we have a system of schooling which starts with grades and we get this little creature into the thing with a kind of come on kitty kitty kitty. And we get it always preparing for something that's going to happen [but never does]. - Alan-Watts
Come along about the 45 years of age maybe you are a vice president and you suddenly Dawns on you that you've arrived with a certain sense of having been cheated because life feels the same as it always felt and you are conditioned to be in desperate need of a future. - Alan-Watts
The final goal that this culture prepares for us is called retirement when you will be a senior citizen and you will have the wealth and the Leisure to do what you always wanted but you will at the same time have impotence and uh false teeth and no energy so the whole thing from beginning to end is a hoax - Alan-Watts
Recondition Yourself
too many nested note refs
too many nested note refs
To Stop Living in the past
To stop living in the past
Remembering pleasant memories and sharing them with friends who are eager to listen is perfectly fine. It's a way to cherish and celebrate experiences we've enjoyed.
On the other hand, it's not beneficial to dwell in regret. Regret, much like worry, diverts our attention and energy from productive activities. Worry preoccupies us with negative thoughts about an uncontrollable future, while regret fixates us on the past, which is equally beyond our influence.
Instead, our focus should be on the present and the aspects of our lives that we can control. The past has become a constant, an unchangeable element in the tapestry of time, and no longer within our sphere of influence. By concentrating on what we can change and affect now, we make the most constructive use of our time and energy.
If we allow ourselves to focus on variables outside of our control, we take the focus from things we can change. Let me repeat. When you think about things outside of your control, you take resources away from things that can make your life better.
You have a finite amount of time and if you focus on that you cannot change, you steal time away from actions that bring change to your life.
IF: You focus on what you cannot change
THEN: you steal time away, from actions that bring change.
As you focus on what you control, your circle-of-influence (what you control), increases. Inversely if you focus on what you cannot change your circle of influence decreases.
AVOID: living the future or past.
“Do not regret what you have done.” — Miyamoto Musashi, Dokkōdō#6
“Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, ‘It might have been’”— John Greenleaf Whittier
“Throughout our lives, we are mostly worried about things that won’t happen anyway. We are afraid of failure when in reality the regret about not having tried can be by far more painful than failure in itself. The question you have to ask yourself is whether you prefer to laugh at all the awkward failures you’ve experienced or to regret all the missed opportunities you rejected out of fear of failure. To me, failure is an inevitable aspect of my life. A “challenge” if you so want that I will have to face every once in a while. With it comes the realization and wisdom that the only fool-proof way to avoid any kind of failure is to not try at all. The attempt to avoid failure at any cost – by not trying – is an irreversible mistake, which I regard as the worst failure of all.” — Steve Mueller
Do not play what if game
You should analyze the past. But never sink down to extrapolating what if I have done X and now would be at Y. Well what if you have done X and because of it you were hit by a bus the next day.
The only path that you know for sure kept you alive is the path you have traveled. All other paths from the past could have lead to death by now.
“Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.” — Confucius
TIM FERRIS: “What advice would you give to Marc, the 20-something, at Netscape?”
MARC ANDREESSEN: I’ve never for a moment even thought about that. I don’t do replays well. The question I’ll never answer is, ‘What would you have done differently had you known X?’ I never, ever play that game because you didn’t know X.’
DoNot Compare yourself with others
Your life is your life. Their life is their life.
Clarification: it’s encouraged to model other’s desired qualities. It’s the unproductive comparison of where someone else is or what they are doing without a healthy goal of modeling that must be avoided.
“When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.” — Lao Tzu
”I'm Too Busy Working on my Own Grass To Notice If Yours Is Any Greener” — David Peplinski
“Comparison Is A Thief Of Joy” — Theodore Roosovelt
“The more you know what you really want, and where you’re really going, the more what everybody else is doing starts to diminish. The moments when your own path is at its most ambiguous, [that’s when] the voices of others, the distracting chaos in which we live, the social media static start to loom large and become very threatening.” — Alain De Botton, TOTs pg. 487
https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-unhappy.html
Instead DO:
Overcome yourself of yesterday
“Determine that today you will overcome your self of the day before, tomorrow you will win over those of lesser skill, and later you will win over those of greater skill.” — Miyamoto Musashi
“Don't compare yourself with other people; compare yourself with who you were yesterday.” — Jordan-Peterson
Compare yourself with your own potential.
Related
Reversal
It is needed to evaluate the past mistakes to improve for the future. That is a needed process and should not be approached with regret, but rather an attitude of improvement and progress.
Meditation is quite helpful to get better at staying in the present moment.
Breathe Properly
Breathe Properly
Dont hold your breath
Diaphragmatic Breathing/Belly Breathing:
When practicing diaphragmatic breathing, the stomach, rather than the chest, moves with each breath, expanding while inhaling and contracting while exhaling. - uofmhealth.org
In simple words Diaphragmatic Breathing is breathing with your Belly, or Belly Breathing.
Live now. Act now, but Do: Incubate Your Actions Accordingly
Sometimes acting is just enjoying the moment.
Realize: Now is all there is.
“Excellence is the next five minutes or nothing at all…Forget the long term. Make the next five minutes rock!” — Tom Peters
“When I am old how much would I be willing to pay to travel back in time and relive the moment that I am experiencing right now.”
“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.” — Seneca
“You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” — Marcus-Aurelius
“Perfection of character: to live your last day, every day.” Marcus-Aurelius, Meditations
“The longest-lived and those who will die soonest lose the same thing. The present is all that they can give up, since that is all you have, and what you do not have, you cannot lose.” Marcus-Aurelius, Meditations
“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” — Buddha
“True happiness is to enjoy the present without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied, for he that is wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.”― Seneca
“The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today.”― Seneca
“Give yourself a gift: the present moment.” Marcus-Aurelius, Meditations
“Confine yourself to the present.“ Marcus-Aurelius
“Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” — Lao-Tzu
“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.” - Epictetus
"He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have." — Socrates
"The present is the only thing of which a man can be deprived, if it is true that this is the only thing which he has, and that a man cannot lose something he does not already possess." - Marcus-Aurelius
“Two elements must therefore be rooted out once for all, – the fear of future suffering, and the recollection of past suffering; since the latter no longer concerns me, and the former concerns me not yet.” – Seneca
Man is born to live and not to prepare to live. - Boris-Pasternak
A rock thrown in the air. It loses nothing by coming down, gained nothing by going up. - Marcus-Aurelius
IF getting stuck in the high/low future possibility:
FIRST: imagine the opposite.
THEN: bring back to the present.
What do you see now?
What do you hear now?
What do you feel now?
Enjoy the Now as it is. Without changing anything. Find peace in the now.
“Roads were made for journeys not destinations.” — Confucius
“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.” — Socrates
”When you sign up to run a marathon, you don’t want a taxi to take you to the finish line.” — Derek-Sivers, Anything you Want pg. 59
“Life is happening for us, not to us. It is our job to find out where the benefit is. If we do, life is magnificent.” — Tony Robbins's Guiding Belief for Life
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