anger state
Remember: sc.dont.be.angry (Private). If you have gotten into this state, quickly find your way out of it.
"Anger is temporary madness" - Seneca
"A Man Is No Bigger Than The Smallest Thing That Provokes Him"
Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him. - Epictetus
What is Anger
Dissonance Signal
Some tinge of Anger can illuminate dissonance, between what you are doing and what you think you should be doing. Hence, don't ignore anger. Don't try to hide it, rather evaluate WHY do you feel the way you feel.
Anger can be taken as a signal to ACT. However, you must not act in Anger.
Treat it as a cue for action, but allow your mind to return to a calm state before acting on the issue at hand. Decisions made in the heat of anger seldom lead to desired outcomes. Since at the time of anger you have blinders on not seeing the fuller picture, your mind is clouded by anger. In such state how can you establish a SFH-Outcome (See, Feel, Hear)? Therefore, if make the mistake of acting in anger there will be a high chance of regret.
Message of Anger
Message of Anger: Important [rule/standard/code] that you hold for your life [is being/has been] violated by [you/someone else].
Instructions on Anger State
Before anything else. Remember NOT to act in Anger.
Anger is akin to a momentary lapse into madness, a state where rational thought is clouded and control is lost. It is a principle of stoic wisdom that to act in such a state is to exhibit weakness, for true strength lies in maintaining control over one’s emotions. To yield to anger is to surrender the reins of reason and dignity, allowing unbridled emotion to dictate actions. It is a sign of a cultivated mind to observe the rise of anger and yet choose to respond with calm deliberation. This self-mastery is the cornerstone of personal empowerment, transforming potentially destructive impulses into opportunities for growth and reflection. In this light, anger is not just an emotion to be suppressed, but a challenge to be overcome, a test of character in the pursuit of wisdom and inner strength.
Quotes
Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him. - Epictetus
If you want to cure anger: do not feed it, say to yourself: 'I used to be angry every day then every other day', once your reach 30 days give a sacrifice to the gods. - Epictetus
"Anger is temporary madness" - Seneca
Related
Imagery
Image: In the heat of unbridled anger, imagine yourself smashing a glass – not with careful intent and planning of dismantling the glass, but in a wild, unthinking fury. The glass, once whole and unblemished, meets its fate in a moment of your recklessness. The glass shatters, its shards flying chaotically. But in this fervor, you've overlooked the aftermath. The consequences lay bare before you - the scattered, sharp remnants of your impulsive act.
And there you are, amidst the chaos of shattered glass, barefoot and exposed. The room echoes with the silence that follows your outburst. You gaze down at your feet, wincing as you see the sharp, jagged pieces embedded in your bare feet. Each shard, glistening with a cruel sharpness, is a stark testament to the impetuous fury that overtook you. The pool of blood begins to mingle with the fragments on the floor, consequences of your unbridled anger. The pain is not just physical; it's a deep, searing realization of the havoc wrought by a single, thoughtless moment of rage. Your heart pounds, not just with the pain of the wounds, but with the weight of regret for the uncontrollable tempest of emotions that led you here. All from that single mistake. The regret pierces deeply inside you. In this moment, surrounded by the remnants of your fury, you understand the true cost of anger - a cost paid not just by the world around you, but by your own being, scarred.
How to get out of Anger
How to get out of anger state.
Firstly
Firstly: Stop Engaging with what is making you angry.
Would you pour more electricity into circuitry that is already throwing off sparks?
Hence, stop engaging while angry.
IF you cannot stop engaging: Take a deep Breath & Count to 5
This is a classic and effective technique for regaining control over one's immediate emotional responses. It allows a moment of pause, a buffer between stimulus and reaction, which is essential for thoughtful decision-making.
Remember
Don't act in Anger
Anger is akin to a momentary lapse into madness, a state where rational thought is clouded and control is lost. It is a principle of stoic wisdom that to act in such a state is to exhibit weakness, for true strength lies in maintaining control over one’s emotions. To yield to anger is to surrender the reins of reason and dignity, allowing unbridled emotion to dictate actions. It is a sign of a cultivated mind to observe the rise of anger and yet choose to respond with calm deliberation. This self-mastery is the cornerstone of personal empowerment, transforming potentially destructive impulses into opportunities for growth and reflection. In this light, anger is not just an emotion to be suppressed, but a challenge to be overcome, a test of character in the pursuit of wisdom and inner strength.
Quotes
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Imagery
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How to get out of Anger
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Note
Communication in Anger is Acting in Anger. Therefore, is a violation of this rule
- Instead: Delay communication:
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Can I circle back to you later?
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Can I get back to you later on this point?
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Can I get some time to process?
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Further
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Secondly
Secondly: ask why you feel it
Secondly ask why are you starting to feel some anger, Why do you feel you are getting mad at something?
Could it be that one of your own internal rules is being broken by yourself?
“Learn to ask of all actions: ‘Why are they doing that?’. Starting with your own.” — Marcus-Aurelius
Some self common situations
IF working: Stop Working.
Simply stop working. Right then and there Stop.
Even if there is a deadline. Take a break.
Almost any work in anger as your experience have show1ed over and over again is really Waste of Tim and Hence violation of Dont Waste Time.
Stop working now.
Even if you need to work: Take a prolonged break.
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IF Hungry: Eat something substantial.
Sometimes the dissonance signal is that you are hungry and haven't been eating enough. Hence, eat something substantial.
Eat something substantial, with more calories than a cucumber.
Note
Communication in Anger is Acting in Anger. Therefore, is a violation of this rule
- Instead: Delay communication:
-
Can I circle back to you later?
-
Can I get back to you later on this point?
-
Can I get some time to process?
-
Further
It should be obvious by looking at Do NOT: Act in Anger. That acting in anger is a destructive process.
However, we should strive further to not only prevent actions while angry but prevent actions while we are also in the low states of anger, that can be described as being 'heated'
-- From Emotional Intelligence 2.0
Relationships
Anger levels
The following anger levels are provided from Emotions Table
- HIGH:
- Furious
- Enraged
- Outraged
- Boiling
- Irate
- Seething
- Loathsome
- Betrayed
- MEDIUM:
- Frustrated
- Upset
- Mad
- Defended
- Agitated
- Disgusted
- LOW:
- Annoyed
- Perturbed
- Uptight
- Resistant
- Irritated
Assume good intentions
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