Communication Code

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Establish your Outcome

Summary: Before engaging in any form of communication, define a clear, sensory-rich vision of your desired outcome to guide your actions and words.

Defining your outcome with precision is paramount to directing your efforts and communications strategically. Employing SEE, HEAR, and FEEL terms not only provides clarity but also embeds the outcome in your sensory experience, making it more tangible and actionable.

Visualize the End State: SEE

SEE Your Success

Envision the scenario in which your outcome has been realized. What do you SEE? Picture the environment, the body language of those involved, and the visual cues of success. This visualization anchors your goal in the mind's eye, setting a clear target to strive towards.

Auditory Affirmation: HEAR

HEAR the Confirmation

Anticipate the conversations and statements that would indicate success. What do you HEAR? It could be verbal affirmations, the tone of agreement, or the sounds of implementation. These auditory cues can guide the tone and direction of your communication.

Emotional Resonance: FEEL

FEEL the Achievement

Focus on the emotions you will FEEL upon accomplishing your goal. Will there be a sense of satisfaction, relief, or excitement? Embodying these feelings beforehand can drive your determination and passion, making your communication more compelling.

Integrating Sensory Clarity

Combine Senses for a Full Picture

Integrate SEE, HEAR, and FEEL to construct a comprehensive and vivid image of your goal. This multisensory approach ensures a well-rounded and deeply rooted understanding of your desired outcome, fueling your motivation and informing your strategy in every interaction.


With a clear sensory-rich outcome established, your subsequent communication becomes more purposeful and aligned, increasing the likelihood of realizing your objectives. Keep this vision at the forefront of your planning and let it subtly inform your dialogue and decision-making.

Steer to your Outcome

Strategic Communication: Mastering Outcomes with Finesse

Summary: Engage in conversations with a clear, strategic outcome in mind, subtly guiding the discourse to achieve your goals while aligning with others' motivations.

Successful communication often hinges on the speaker's ability to subtly guide the dialogue towards a predetermined outcome without making the intent obvious. This strategy can involve aligning your aims with those of your interlocutor, adapting to the flow of conversation, and maintaining ethical standards of influence.

First and Foremost: Establish Your Outcome

Establish your outcome

Before entering into dialogue, clarify your own desired outcome.

Summary: Before engaging in any form of communication, define a clear, sensory-rich vision of your desired outcome to guide your actions and words.

Defining your outcome with precision is paramount to directing your efforts and communications strategically. Employing SEE, HEAR, and FEEL terms not only provides clarity but also embeds the outcome in your sensory experience, making it more tangible and actionable.

Visualize the End State: SEE

SEE Your Success

Envision the scenario in which your outcome has been realized. What do you SEE? Picture the environment, the body language of those involved, and the visual cues of success. This visualization anchors your goal in the mind's eye, setting a clear target to strive towards.

Auditory Affirmation: HEAR

HEAR the Confirmation

Anticipate the conversations and statements that would indicate success. What do you HEAR? It could be verbal affirmations, the tone of agreement, or the sounds of implementation. These auditory cues can guide the tone and direction of your communication.

Emotional Resonance: FEEL

FEEL the Achievement

Focus on the emotions you will FEEL upon accomplishing your goal. Will there be a sense of satisfaction, relief, or excitement? Embodying these feelings beforehand can drive your determination and passion, making your communication more compelling.

Integrating Sensory Clarity

Combine Senses for a Full Picture

Integrate SEE, HEAR, and FEEL to construct a comprehensive and vivid image of your goal. This multisensory approach ensures a well-rounded and deeply rooted understanding of your desired outcome, fueling your motivation and informing your strategy in every interaction.


With a clear sensory-rich outcome established, your subsequent communication becomes more purposeful and aligned, increasing the likelihood of realizing your objectives. Keep this vision at the forefront of your planning and let it subtly inform your dialogue and decision-making.

Understand Hidden Desires

Read Between the Lines

Dive deeper into the conversation to discern the hidden objectives and motivations of others. By understanding these covert desires, you can frame your dialogue to appeal to these interests, making your outcome seem advantageous to them as well.

Dovetailing Desires

Create a Convergence of Interests

Articulate your points in a way that resonates with the other person's aspirations. This subtle art of dovetailing creates a sense of camaraderie and collaboration, leading to a more receptive dialogue and mutual advancement toward each party's goals.

Strategic Disclosure

Reveal with Purpose

Determine which pieces of information will further the conversation towards your desired end and disclose them at strategic points. This selective sharing is key to maintaining the upper hand in the dialogue's direction.

LOP-4

Lop4: Always say less than necessary.

Especially follow this when it when it comes to criticism see: Dont Condemn Criticize or Complain

The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.

Influence with Integrity

Maintain Moral Ground

Employ influence tactics that stay within the realm of integrity. Persuasion, in this context, is not about deception but about fostering outcomes that, while potentially undisclosed, do not harm and ideally benefit all involved parties.

Adaptive Communication

Navigate the Flow

Be attuned to verbal and non-verbal feedback. Adapt your messaging to maintain alignment with the conversation's ebb and flow, subtly keeping it on track towards your predetermined outcome.

Confirm Implicit Understanding

Seek Unspoken Agreement

Observe the actions and cues of others to gauge their buy-in. The goal is to reach a point where the desired outcome is acted upon, often without the need for explicit acknowledgment.


By incorporating these strategies into your communication, you ensure a sophisticated and subtle journey towards your objectives. This approach allows you to influence effectively and ethically, achieving your aims while considering the goals and motivations of others.

To go beyond is as wrong as to fall short. - Confucius

Once you reach your outcome. In that engagement stop.

Later some positive re-enforcement should generally not hurt, but could re-open the conversation.

Build Rapport

Understanding and mastering the art of rapport can significantly enhance personal and professional relationships. Here's a structured breakdown of key concepts.

People resonate with similarities and aspirations

Humans are naturally inclined to feel connected with others who share similarities, whether in personality, interests, or life experiences. This sense of kinship often extends to individuals who embody traits or achievements we aspire to attain. Recognizing and reflecting these commonalities or admirable qualities can lay a strong foundation for rapport. This doesn't mean one should feign interest or pretend to be someone they're not; rather, it's about finding genuine points of connection and showing appreciation for them. When people see themselves—or who they'd like to be—in you, a powerful bond begins to form.

Non-verbal cues are paramount in communication

While the words we choose are important, non-verbal communication often has a more profound impact on building rapport. This encompasses body language, facial expressions, gestures, and posture. Aligning your non-verbal signals with your verbal messages can create a sense of authenticity and trustworthiness. For instance, maintaining good eye contact shows attentiveness, nodding can indicate agreement or understanding, and an open posture suggests receptiveness. Being conscious of these non-verbal cues and ensuring they are congruent with your words strengthens your communicative effectiveness and helps build rapport.

Voice tone carries more weight than the spoken word

The tone, pitch, and pace of your voice can convey emotions and intentions more effectively than the actual words spoken. Modulating your voice to match the conversational context can help in synchronizing with the other person's emotional state, facilitating a deeper connection. This includes speaking more softly when comforting someone, or with more excitement when sharing good news. The nuances of voice intonation can signal empathy, enthusiasm, or confidence, contributing significantly to the rapport-building process.

Establishing Rapport

Building rapport is an integral part of successful communication. It involves actively listening, showing empathy, and being authentic. Here are ways to establish and maintain rapport:

Active listening is key

Active listening involves fully concentrating on what is being said rather than just passively hearing the message of the speaker. Reflecting, paraphrasing, and summarizing the other person's words show that you are engaged and value their perspective. This practice not only helps the listener understand better but also provides the speaker with a sense of being heard and valued. Key components of active listening include maintaining eye contact, nodding, using small verbal comments like "yes" or "uh-huh," and avoiding interruptions.

Unleash the Power of Vocal Mirroring

Imagine your voice as a potent force, a tool that can adapt, resonate, and align with the energy of any conversation. It's about tuning into the rhythm of the person you're engaging with — their pace, their tone, their volume — and harmonizing with them.

When they speak softly and deliberately, bring your own volume down, let the spaces between your words breathe empathy into the conversation. If they're riding a wave of excitement, allow your own words to surf along, picking up speed and rising in pitch.

In the dance of dialogue, your voice is your partner. When you match their moves, step for step, tone for tone, you're not just speaking, you're connecting. You're saying, "I'm with you; I feel what you're feeling." It's this powerful synchrony that builds trust, forges bonds, and makes people feel truly seen and heard.

So, the next time you're in conversation, listen not just with your ears but with your vocal cords. Be ready to match, to mirror, and to meet them in that sweet spot where true rapport blossoms. This isn't mimicry; it's the highest form of flattery. It's the secret ingredient to a connection that's not just heard, but felt.

Empathy fosters connection

Empathy allows us to understand and share the feelings of others. Demonstrating empathy in your interactions encourages a supportive and understanding environment that is conducive to establishing rapport. It's about more than just recognizing emotions; it's about truly putting yourself in someone else's shoes, feeling what they feel, and communicating that understanding back to them. When people feel understood, they are more likely to open up, trust, and engage in a deeper, more meaningful dialogue.

Authenticity promotes trust

Being genuine in your communication encourages others to open up and be themselves. This authenticity helps to build a trustworthy and comfortable relationship where rapport can flourish. Authenticity also involves honesty and integrity in your interactions. It's about being real and human, admitting your own mistakes, and being open about your feelings and intentions. Authentic communication builds credibility and trust, which are the cornerstones of strong, rapport-based relationships.

Enhancing Communication Success

To succeed in communication, one should aim to develop rapport by being mindful of non-verbal cues and voice modulation, in addition to the spoken content. Building rapport can make the difference between a mere exchange of words and a meaningful conversation.

Align non-verbal communication

Ensure that your body language and facial expressions are in harmony with your words to enhance trust and convey sincerity. Misalignment between what we say and how we say it can lead to mistrust or confusion. For example, crossed arms might be perceived as defensive, even if your words are welcoming. Learning to control and be aware of your non-verbal communication can make you a more effective communicator.

Mirror to connect

Subtly mirroring the body language or speech patterns of the other person can create a subconscious bond, making the interaction more personable and engaging. This doesn't mean copying every move or word, which can come across as mimicry, but rather picking up on certain cues and reflecting them back naturally. Mirroring can help people feel more at ease with you because it signals that you are on the same wavelength.

Adjustyour communication style

Being versatile in your communication and adjusting your style to suit the preferences of the person you are speaking with can make them feel more understood and respected. This might involve using simpler language with someone who is not an expert in your field or being more formal with a senior executive compared to a peer. The ability to adapt your communication style demonstrates social awareness and sensitivity to others' needs, which is a powerful tool for building rapport.


Children
  1. Argument Communication Guidelines
  2. Dont
  3. Dont Be
  4. Rapport Building in Communication
  5. Simple Rules
  6. Strategic Communication: Steering Toward Your Outcome