Praise and Blame

You know that business about the responsibility of the person who gets murdered for getting murdered there is a curious sense in which a lot of people go around looking for trouble Freud powerpoints that pointed out by correctly the psychology of accident-prone individuals they seem to be attracting trouble like lights attract moths and we're all doing that but we managed to remain unconscious of it so that we can praise and blame and play the game which says that's not my fault that's your fault and so we go around apportioning faults to everybody because if we're going to apportion praise for what the good things people do you can't make praise mean anything unless you also go around blaming trays and blame go together supposing everybody was acting in a praiseworthy way and we praised everybody for everything they'll get tired of it they wouldn't even notice it anymore so so long as you're going to get a kick out of being praised you've got to go around blaming too it's very simple but if you see the folly of that that praising and blaming are just creating each other then you don't praise and you don't blame you just dig the whole thing and that's why when we encounter very great sages you never hear them blame people and they very rarely praise anyone you try to start gossip in the presence of such a person and you make a derogatory comment about someone it's as if you had thrown a rock into a well and heard no splash and a funny feeling because that you get no response you get no agreement and if you pray somebody there's also likely nothing to be said except perhaps some remark that of course you're praising the beloved in all its manifestations and this this disconcerts some people terribly I've always noticed that real sages never gossip never criticize persons and because they understand so well the French saying to compensate apart on a to understand all is to forgive all is so true if you are experienced in just the ordinary way of dealing with human problems if you've been a counselor or psychotherapist or minister or anything like that you very soon get to realize how vastly complicated people are and to see that they really are in the message they're in not because of anything but that's the way it is and you stop blaming people and because you don't blame people you have open ears and people come to seek your advice they don't want to come to someone who's a counselor who will ball them out it's like dentists who simply accept the fact that people really don't take care of their teeth and realize that the job of a dentist is precisely to look after people who can't be bothered to take care of their teeth that's why is in business so a good dentist doesn't vol his patients out because they didn't do this that in the other just accept it same with doctors they know perfectly well that nobody's going to live by the rules of health and they're very vague as to what they are there's every kind of theory about how you ought to live and what is healthy but they've change in fashion and what we ought to eat this kind of diet in 1921 when I the time it's 1930 they've changed their ideas all together by the time it's 1960 it's back again to a mixture between 9021 and 1894 something like that is it's always changing so while the rules that then are not so you see if they were all absurd it would be easy but they're not all absurd there's some truth in it always but nobody's ever quite sure so they would function of healers and doctors and so on is just to do what can be done to stop the mess getting too messy and they must accept it as that that's their job if I were healthy say to the doctor I wouldn't need you so you're in business