5: Events don't disturb us; Our attitudes about events that disturb us.
Events don’t disturb us; it’s the attitudes we take toward events that disturb us. For example, death isn’t terrible, or it would have seemed that way to Socrates; it’s the idea that death is terrible that’s terrible.
So when we’re hindered or disturbed or saddened, let’s not blame others but rather our own opinions.
It’s the ignorant person who blames others for her or his troubles, the person with a little training who blames only herself or himself, and the well-instructed person who blames no one.
GPT Translation
In Greek
ταράσσει τοὺς ἀνθρώπους οὐ τὰ πράγματα, ἀλλὰ τὰ περὶ τῶν πραγμάτων δόγματα: οἷον ὁ θάνατος οὐδὲν δεινόν （ἐπεὶ καὶ Σωκράτει ἂν ἐφαίνετο）, ἀλλὰ τὸ δόγμα τὸ περὶ τοῦ θανάτου, διότι δεινόν, ἐκεῖνο τὸ δεινόν ἐστιν. ὅταν οὖν ἐμποδιζώμεθα ἢ ταρασσώμεθα ἢ λυπώμεθα, μηδέποτε ἄλλον αἰτιώμεθα, ἀλλ᾽ ἑαυτούς, τοῦτ᾽ ἔστι τὰ ἑαυτῶν δόγματα. ἀπαιδεύτου ἔργον τὸ ἄλλοις ἐγκαλεῖν, ἐφ᾽ οἷς αὐτὸς πράσσει κακῶς: ἠργμένου παιδεύεσθαι τὸ ἑαυτῷ: πεπαιδευμένου τὸ μήτε ἄλλῳ μήτε ἑαυτῷ.
It is not events that disturb people, but their judgements about them. For example, death is nothing fearful (otherwise it would have appeared so to Socrates), but the judgement about death being fearful is what is fearful.
So, when we are hindered, disturbed, or grieved, let us never blame others but ourselves, that is, our own judgements.
It is the mark of an uneducated person to blame others for one's own misfortunes; of a partially educated person to blame oneself; and of a fully educated person neither to blame another nor oneself.
Some thoughts on this
It's our misconception that we can judge whether something is good or bad that causes us to have such opinions.
The story of Chinese Farmer comes to mind
A long time ago, a poor Chinese farmer lost a horse, and all the neighbors came around and said, “well that’s too bad.” The farmer said, “maybe.”
Shortly after, the horse returned bringing another horse with him, and all the neighbors came around and said, “well that’s good fortune,” to which the farmer replied, “maybe.”
The next day, the farmer’s son was trying to tame the new horse and fell, breaking his leg, and all the neighbors came around and said, “well that’s too bad,” and the farmer replied, “maybe.”
Shortly after, the emperor declared war on a neighboring nation and ordered all able-bodied men to come fight—many died or were badly maimed, but the farmer’s son was unable to fight and spared due to his injury. And all the neighbors came around and said, “well that’s good fortune,” to which the farmer replied, “maybe.”
The whole process of nature is an integrated process of immense complexity and it is really impossible to tell whether anything that happens in it is good or bad because you never know what will be the consequences of a misfortune or you never know what will be the consequences of good fortune. - Alan-Watts
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